


//.hello Lotor

by tybalt_tisk



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: All The Tropes, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, However its one sided Enemies, Lotura Secret Santa, Slow Dancing, Snow Angels, Snowed In, bed sharing, everything, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-09-29 03:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tybalt_tisk/pseuds/tybalt_tisk
Summary: Being this close to her, he sees things about her that he didn’t see yesterday or in his entire life. Did she always have freckles just under her eyes? Were her eyes always that blue?Was she always this pretty?Suddenly, he doesn’t think he hates Allura. He doesn’t think he’s ever hated her, actually.  Everything is falling into place and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Maybe he doesn’t hate her. Maybe he just...highly dislikes her, that’s all.Right?His heartbeat coincides perfectly with her laughter and he couldn’t stop his next words from leaving his lips even if he tried.“Oh fuck.”





	1. .You Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ryo (Hiari)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiari/gifts).



Lotor hated Allura Altea. 

On the account that their fathers were close friends, he’s known her since early childhood, and it was safe to say that he’s probably always hated her. As a child, she had been stubborn, loud, and obnoxious; always teasing and provoking him with relentless jabs to his ego that was often followed by a cruel laugh that never failed to keep him awake at night. Lotor would be lying if he said that he was a poster child, himself. He wasn’t any better than she was. He, too, had pulled his fair share of ruthless pranks against her. From gum in her hair to secretly eating her fruit snacks before purposely dumping them all over the floor. Usually, he was a well-mannered, well-behaved, overall leveled headed child.

But not when she was around. 

When she came around, all home training flew out the window. Every word she said, he countered it with childish mockery. Every toy she played with, he made his father buy him one bigger - _one better_. Every story she told, he made up one on the spot that was more imaginative, more lavish, and more exciting than anything she will ever do. It never failed that when she came around, he always allowed her to bring out the worst part of him. 

It wasn’t until they were teenagers that Allura really perfected her craft when it came to the art of torture. She knew exactly what it took to dig under his skin and set his soul on fire. Never would he have thought that the girl he hated from his childhood would grow to be the girl he hated in high school. Just about everything she did, she did with the intention to pester him. 

She rivaled him at every achievement he set out to accomplish. If he wanted two extracurricular activities, she found a way to make time for three. If he got a perfect score on his calculus exam, she made a deal with the devil just to get a 101 with a scratch and sniff banana sticker attached to the corner. When he ran for student council, he won vice president. She only ran because she knew he was running and won class president by a landslide with a simple flip of her silver hair and a silver tongue to match to deliver a speech that would make Obama proud. 

And she didn’t even like politics. 

But what she did like was to ruin his fucking day.

She had gone from the stubborn, loud, and obnoxious girl of his childhood to become the cunning, brilliant, and borderline perfect bain of his existence. Everyone saw her as perfect, some even had the audacity to call her the princess of the school. He saw her as gilded as the crown she wore and occasionally held over his head.

She thrived in high school but it didn’t stop her from giving him her full, undivided, and usually unwanted attention. He tried to distance himself from her, but she always found her way back to him. Always found her a way home, buried in every corner of his mind. She always made him walk her home after school and on the way, she talked about things that made her happy and things she knew made him cringe. It was routine that she kept him entertained in her own twisted way. She was always there to spoil his mood and she loved every second of it.

Then midway through their senior year, Allura’s father died unexpectedly. 

A heart attack at 44 was uncommon, but not unheard of. The funeral is beautiful, but it was completely negated by Allura’s stoic nature. She didn’t shed a tear, and she didn’t utter a single word. Coran, her godfather, didn’t leave her side even for a second, ushering her around and introducing her to every one of her late father’s friends. She took every hug, every words of condolence with stride but she never spoke. Only smiles, nods, and the occasional return of an unwanted sympathy hug. She laughed once throughout the day and it was only when someone told her to “be strong”. He’ll never forget how unsettling it was.

They buried Alfor on a Friday. She was back in school the following Monday. 

It was definitely a red flag with the school’s councilors. Her coping mechanism of how she dealt with grief wasn’t the best, as it goes against everything they’ve been trained on, but she reassured everyone that she would be fine. Unsure of what to do and careful not to push her, they let her continue down her unorthodox path with a watchful eye.

Everything seemed fine at first. She surprised her teachers by still answering questions in class with more confidence than ever, fulfilling her class presidential duties, and miraculously, still found a way to make time for her extracurricular activities. She may have shined academically, but internally, her flame had died alongside her father. 

She smiled less.

She talked less.

And eventually, she started to care less. 

Everything seemed fine until one day it wasn’t. 

She started to zone out in class, ignoring every lecture, every question, every example. It got so bad to the point where the teachers, who once adored her presence, found themselves reprimanding her for her behavior. She never argued back. She never defended herself. She never used the obvious cause of her daydreaming as an excuse. She only nodded, gave a half-assed apology before she straightened her back and got back to work.

She skipped student council meetings on a whim. Not a note or a text ever explained why, but they all knew why and no one had the heart to say the words out loud. 

Lotor tried to reach out to her. He really did. He tried to help her cope with the loss of the only family she had, but whatever he did, she was unresponsive. She cut herself off from the rest of the student body and eventually, she had cut herself off from him. Out of habit, he waited for her after school, but when 5 minutes turned into 10 and 10 turned into 20, he took the hint and walked home alone. 

The rivalry between them – the spark that motivated his drive to do better – was completely diminished because she had simply stopped trying. She had stopped trying in everything. He was the new class president only because Allura had stepped down because she couldn't fulfill her duties. She was even removed from her extracurricular activities for the lack of attendance.

Finally, he was better than her. He was exceeding in class, whereas she was staring blankly ahead at a whiteboard that held a formula that she hadn’t bothered writing down.

At the end of the school year, he was awarded valedictorian only because she had failed all of her final exams. He performed his speech for a crowd that only gave him half of the attention he deserved because they all knew it should have been _her_ to guide them out of their high school journey. To add insult to injury, she didn’t even bother to show up to graduation. He was angrier than he’s ever been and it's all because of her. 

For the first time in a long time, he was left alone. He’s free of her the hold she had on his heart since they were children. For the first time in a long time, she let him merely exists. However, she let him exist only by pretending that he didn’t. She dug under his skin, only to leave a hollow hole that he struggled to fill because he knew it was made just for her. 

Yes, Lotor hated Allura Altea. 

But he’s never hated her more than he does right now. 

_.//.three years later.//._

Lotor scoffed at the students that rushed passed him to catch the last train home for the holidays. It wasn’t scheduled to leave for another 14 minutes, so he didn’t know why they are in such a hurry. With careful planning and flawless execution, they had more than plenty of time. 

He walked through the campus grounds of his university, enjoying the view. Within three hours, this place would be a ghost town for the next week and a half. The daily bustle was already thinning out as more and more students left their dorms behind in favor of returning home to spend time with their loved ones for Christmas. He was one of the few that decided to stay on campus during the holiday season. Some were out of state students or even from overseas who couldn’t afford to travel back to visit their families. 

That wasn’t his case. 

He had more than willingly chosen to stay on campus for the holidays with the sole reason in mind that he didn’t want to travel back to a broken home where he was constantly reminded that he wasn’t good enough. He would rather spend Christmas alone than be with those who wished he were someone else. Someone else with more potential. Someone else who had chosen a better career path to follow. Someone else who didn’t disappoint his father regardless of how hard he tried to impress him. 

Lotor pushed away the dark thoughts before they dragged him back into the pit he clawed his way out of long ago. He vowed to never give anyone the power to make him feel like he was worthless ever again. He was better than that and he couldn’t wait to prove it.

Winter classes didn’t start until after Christmas so he had a little over a week to get a headstart on the lectures. Why hit the ground running when you can already be halfway to the finish line? He decided to grab a cup of coffee from his favorite cafe before he headed to the library for a study session.

He wasn’t too ashamed to admit that it was in fact, a beautiful day. The sun was low, signaling the beginning to the end of the day and there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. The air was crisp and refreshing as it picked up golden leaves and danced with them over the pavement. He was never one for cold weather, but he could tolerate this. The weather would change drastically the day after tomorrow for the worse, so he better enjoy it now before the snow storm rolled in. He hated the snow - it was messy, bothersome, and it left him feeling wet and dirty just by association.

The leaves crunched under his steps and he found himself loving the sound of silence the empty campus brings him. Without the masses bothering him, he was looking forward to his week and a half of solitude and silence. 

“For the last time, I’ll be fine,” a voice cut through the silence like a knife and it embedded itself deep within his chest.

_He knows that voice._

He couldn’t possibly forget it because the roots she sowed long ago are still burned into his mind. He hasn’t heard that voice in three years yet he knows _exactly_ who it belongs to. 

Her voice was like a beacon and his head whipped around in the direction to find the light that is her playful, melodic presense. When his eyes land on her, he didn’t mean to stop dead in his tracks, but he does. He didn’t mean to stop breathing, but he found himself holding his breath like he has absolutely nothing left to give. He didn’t mean for his heart to start beating so fast, but here it is, beating out of control as it alerted every nerve in his body. 

He wanted to deny that it’s her, to tell himself that he was just seeing things and that there was no way in the world that the girl who disappeared from his life three years ago was standing just a few yards away from him. But...there’s no way in hell that it’s _not_ her. She looks exactly how he remembers her. Long, silver hair that cascaded down her back, smooth, rich skin, and electric blue eyes that never failed to send a tingle up his spine.

She was surrounded by five others. He can only identify the small one as Katie Holt, the genius kid that graduated high school at 14 and is now enrolled as a sophomore at 15. He doesn’t recognize the others, however, he doesn’t like how...comfortable she looks with them.

He should leave. He knows that he should leave before she spotted him, before she filled him with all of the emotions of his childhood. 

But then again, he had always been reckless when it came to her. 

He was still out of sight so he pretended to straighten and tighten the straps of his backpack, but he has a sharp ear out for their conversation.

Allura’s mouth was set into a pout that he remembered all too well and she folded her arms over her chest and the others mimic her pose with one of their own.

“Mira mira, we just don’t want you to be alone on Christmas, okay?,” a tall, skinny one spoke out, expressing exactly what the group was thinking. 

The baby genius jumped on the balls of her feet and pulled at Allura’s folded arms, urging them to unfold. “My family doesn’t celebrate Christmas but we plan on going camping this year. And you always told me how much you wanted to go camping with us!” She was using bribery, an interesting tactic but Allura doesn’t budge. 

The big guy was next to speak. “Do you just not want to spend time with any of our families?” he asked, changing the groups tactic to make her feel looming guilt but she only raised a perfectly arched brow in return.

A raven-haired boy with the audacity to have a mullet in 2018 stepped forward, his scowl set into stone. “If you don’t come home with Shiro and me, then I’ll tell Romelle that it was you who broke her snowglobe.” They were getting desperate if blackmail was the clear front-runner. 

“Shiro and I,” she corrected him without missing a beat. “I may have broken her snowglobe, but at least I didn’t stretch out her favorite sweater because I confused it with my own.” 

“She had it in my laundry. I thought it was mine.” he defended himself through clenched teeth. 

“It was purple, Keith.” She smirked when she knew she has him stomped.

Mullet boy nudged the well-built man beside him. “You can jump in at any time, Shiro,” he said sarcastically.

All attention shifted to the tall man that Lotor could safely assume was Shiro ,and they waited for him to step in to reason with her. She was always so stubborn and they knew that if anybody could convince her, it would probably be this Shiro person.

Shiro said nothing as he searched Allura’s eyes. They had an unspoken conversation that Lotor couldn’t decipher and it burned him with envy. After a brief moment of silence, Shiro let out a sigh of defeat. “And you’re sure you want to do this, ‘Lura?” Lotor’s eye’s widened. Why hadn’t he ever called her that?

She nodded, her curls bouncing with her movements and it mesmerized him. “Yes,” she said without hesitation. 

Shiro didn’t push the issue any further. “Okay.” He raised a hand, the metal one, Lotor noticed, to silence the loud protests from the others. “Guys, if she wants to stay, then we can’t force her to come with us.” He brought his up other hand to rest on her shoulders before he addressed her again. “But listen, if you change your mind, please don’t hesitate to call any one of us. We’ll drop whatever it is that we’re doing and we’ll come to get you.” None of them are happy with his call, but they all nodded eagerly in agreement.

“I’ll keep that in mind, guys,” she told them with a smile. She let out a squeal of surprise when the big one pulled her into a hug and the others immediately follow to smother her in similar affections. “Alright, that’s enough. Now, you guys need to go before you miss your train.” She tried to push them away, but they refused to budge. She soon realized that her efforts are in vain so she just lets them have their last moments with her until the next year.

Lotor watched the scene and darkness filled his chest. He didn’t know what it is, nor did he care. Or that’s at least what he told himself. He had friends like that. They left out yesterday and he didn’t recall any of them sharing a group hug like that. He didn’t even remember bidding them safe travels. 

Suddenly, his phone went off and it was a booming thunder compared to how quiet their surroundings were. Allura’s eyes immediately found him and for a second, the world stops. The familiar sensation of electricity shooting up his spine almost overwhelmed him when her eyes pierced his. 

He thought she looked the same, but she doesn’t. Her eyes are different. They aren’t full of the mirth he remembered when they were children and they hold unspoken grief that he knows has nothing to do with him. He found himself being angry at her again. For leaving him. For not telling him goodbye. And most importantly, for not sharing her burden with him.

Neither said a word before he averted his eyes and focused on the ground. After a moment of hesitation, after a moment of foolishly hoping that she’d call out to him and beg him for forgiveness, and when she didn’t, he continued along the path to the library. 

His world was perfect before he saw her. Now the air wasn’t so crisp and refreshing as he thought it was. The cold air is like poison as it filled his lungs and the sound of leaves under his feet take on the pitch of broken glass to his ears. He thought the sky was clear but on closer inspection, there are dark clouds that loom just over the horizon. 

Just like always, she found her way back to him. Just like always, she found the hole she dug up and made it her home again. 

And just like that, he hated Allura all over again. 

Lotor didn’t know how long he stayed in the library but he knows that it was a useless attempt at trying to study when he was so...distracted. He read over words that had no meaning behind them and listened to pre-recorded lectures that faded into nonsense. He was angry at himself and it showed through his lack of focus. How could he let her ruin him like this and the only thing she did was look at him? 

He read over the text once more and just when he thought he was making progress, he heard her voice ring through his head and her eyes flashed before him, displacing the information and casting it aside. He let out a growl and slammed his book shut, almost scattering loose papers around. He took a few deep breaths and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It’s a stress relief tactic Ezor taught him and the one time he put it to use, it failed him when he needed it the most. 

Frustrated with himself, he quickly packed up his belongings and left the library in a huff. It was dark outside and just as he predicted, the campus is a ghost town. Besides the sound of the biting wind as it whirled past him, it was eerily silent. Zipping up his jacket, tightening his scarf, and stuffing his hands into his pockets, he ventured back to his apartment that resided just on the outskirts of the campus. It was only a 10 minute walk and he felt like its just enough time to clear his head.

The temperature dropped drastically since a few hours ago and the dark clouds above tell him that it was about to snow at any given minute. He walked through the campus quickly with stiff shoulders as he tried to keep him core warm. However, the smell of freshly brewed coffee hit his senses and it was enough to deter him from going straight home to get out of the cold. 

A single barista who was unfortunate enough to have the closing shift for a campus that had the population of less than 40 at this time of the year greeted him at the door. He hasn’t changed his order in two year and comes in often enough that he no longer needed to tell the boy behind the counter what he wants. As soon as the boy saw him, he prepared Lotor’s usual; Chilean black coffee. No sugar, no cream, just straight from the machine to his cup, just the way he likes it. 

Lotor thanked the boy quietly when he received his $4 coffee. He didn’t wait until it cooled before he took a brave sip and let the bitter liquid coat his tongue before it slid down his throat. He had to hold back the satisfied hum at the delicious brew. He had to remind himself that he’s in public and not in a Folgers commercial. He had a reputation to hold up, dammit. 

The second he forgets all about his troubles, a chill shoots up his spine and he’s frozen in his steps. Standing before him, expression as unreadable as ever, there she is. Her hair was wild around her from the chilly winds, her eyes dance with blatant mischief, and her lips are upturned into a grin that he knows will haunt him for the rest of the day. 

She tucked her hair behind her ears before she spoke. “Hello Lotor.” 

He hated how pleasant her voice was. She rocked up on the balls of her feet in a childish manner before she took a confident step forward. Her shoes clicking on the marble floors was like thunder to him, forshadowing just how his day would end. Her voice always did something to him that he couldn’t describe. It made his hands shake and inadvertently tighten around his coffee, almost causing the hot liquid to seep over the rim and onto his hand. 

Subtly, he forced his voice to cooperate. “Allura,” he saids her name as if though it’s synonymous to an proper greeting. 

She let out a laugh that’s...more cute than he remembered. “You’re still exactly the same as I remember.” She looked over him and his heartbeat raced at the thought of her eyes looking over his body. He’s by no means self conscious of his looks, as he works out often enough for results that he’s proud of. It’s just simply the idea that it’s _her_ looking over him. 

“Likewise,” he mumbled almost bitterly through another sip of his coffee. He doesn’t know why he’s being so cold towards her. Just a few hours ago, he wanted nothing more than for her to talk to him. Now that she was here, she was too much and it brought out emotions in him that he’d rather stay buried in the past.

Her eyes look over him again and she smiled as if his attitude doesn’t affect her. It probably doesn’t. She’s known him since they were children so his cold demeanor doesn’t hold any sort of weight to her. He could call her every insult in the book and she’d laugh it off, call him clever, then change the subject to talk about the weather.

Still..., he hopes that she continued to talk to him, or strike up some sort of meaningless banter. He wanted her to ask him about what he’s been up all these years or maybe even tease him just like she used to. Hell, he’ll even answer questions about his parents if that’s what it took just to get her to talk to him. However, all of his wishes come crashing down when she merely nods and walkedpast him. It's like a cold slap to the face when he greets the barista in the exact same tone she used when she had spoken to him. 

When he realized that it's the end of their conversation, he took his leave. The cold wind hit him full force and he somehow felt warmer than before. He took another sip of his coffee before he trekked home to his apartment.

They must have changed the recipe because this coffee wasn’t as good as he remembered. T

The next day, the weather is colder than it was yesterday. The wind was unforgiving as it opposed his force and flurries start to fall from the sky and littered the ground in a thin sheet of white. He checked his phone again, and even though the weather alerts tell him to stay inside because there’s a storm approaching soon, hr needed to check out a few books before then just in case it leaves him unable to attain them at a later date. 

He walked the lonely, well traveled path to the library and the other students chose to take heed to the multiple warnings he chooses to ignore. To anybody else, the vacancy would be alarming, but he somehow found solace in it. 

He was almost to the library when he saw a person sitting on the bench outlooking the empty field. He doesn’t need to take a closer look to know exactly who it was - her silver curls blowing in the wind is a dead giveaway. It was funny. He that he hasn’t seen her for three years now she was everywhere he turns, filling in empty spaces he wishes would stay empty. He didn’t slow down in his pace, but he can’t take it eyes away from her. She sat silently with her legs crossed at the knee holding a cup of unknown substance. He can’t see her expression at this distance, but her body language tells him she was content with the desolation. Reluctantly, he tore his eyes away from her and continued to the library. 

•––––––––––—•

He was in the library for way longer than he originally planned to because by the time he’s done, two hours have gone by. He checked out his desired books, all on the different branches of linguistics, and left home to beat the storm. 

It was snowing by the time he gets outside and the wind was almost brutal at this point. He kept his head down to protect his eyes and he used the strength in his legs to force him onward. He wanted to get out of this weather as soon as possible, but like always, the universe has other plans for him. Allura isn’t where he last saw her, on the bench, sitting contently. Instead, she was in the middle of the snowy field catching snowflakes on her tongue and twirling with her arms stretched out.

Lotor rolled his eyes at her childish antics before he continues forward. He took a couple of steps forward before he realized that she’s been out here, exposed to dangerous temperatures for a little over two hours now. Maybe even more. The wind is picking up and it doesn’t seem to have any sort of effect on her. He wanted to continue home, but he found himself staring at her dance in the snow.

Suddenly she stopped and looked up towards the sky as if she was looking for something. Lotor followed her eyes to the heavens and sees that her gaze is fixed on the dark clouds that cover the stars. As children, all she ever wanted to do was stargaze. She would drag him outside in the middle of the night to see if they could spot any, but the city was always too bright to properly see them. Slowly, she outstretched her arms again before she fell backwards on to the ground.

Lotor watched her with a raised brow and winced how he knew her clothes were going to be soaked once the snow touches her heated skin. He should leave her to do whatever she pleases. 

But first, he needed to see her get up again. 

A minute passed, then two. Its at two minutes and fourteen seconds before worry overcame him when she didn’t get up from the cold ground. Only Allura would be careless enough to get hypothermia because she was too stupid to just stand up and seek shelter.

He cussed to himself before he quickly walked over to make sure she’s okay. In the field, there are no buildings around to shield them from the winds, and it made Lotor actually worry about her wellbeing. He stood over her with his hands in his pockets and an annoyed look on his face. Her eyes are closed, and her arms are outstretched around her. He’s certain that she knew he’s standing over her. Her sly grin said so. 

When she doesn’t respond to his presence, he decided to make himself known. “Allura,” he spoke to her the same way he did at the cafe yesterday.

She doesn’t even open her eyes. “Hello Lotor,” she said evenly, and her voice rings through the chill air. “You never did like the cold.” It’s a simple statement that hits Lotor hard. “What brings you out here?” 

“Funny story,” he said devoid of any humor, “I was walking home and I happened to see a girl knocking on death’s door because she wanted to look cute in the snow.”

She opens both eyes and they landed heavily on him. From her angle, he can tell that she’s sizing him up and he felt defensive. “You think I look cute?” 

Lotor narrowed his eyes at her. “No, I think you look stupid.” He took a step back to put distance between them. “Now get up,” he scolded her like she was a child. 

“Why?” She doesn’t act out on his words and it ate at Lotor. He knew that she hated being treated like a child, yet he did just that and when he doesn’t get the response he wanted from her, he scowled. 

“Because there’s a storm coming and to be honest with you, it’s probably already here. And you’re out in the elements wearing a shitty jacket making shitty snow angels.”

She sized him up once more before she closed her eyes. “And what if I don’t want to get up?” she asked him softly after a moment. There was something hidden in her voice that he can’t decipher and doesn’t know what it is that she was hiding. She sounded small and so vulnerable, almost defeated even. 

Lotor took a step forward until he’s watching her under the field lights and upon closer inspection, she looked tired. She looked so tired. Her lips are almost blue and she was shivering. Badly. The jacket she has on isn’t thick enough keep out the cold and he knew the snow underneath her is melting as it comes in contact with her skin. She was in a bad situation and he can’t help but worry about her. 

“Allura, seriously, get up,” he told her sternly, hoping to not let the worry show through his voice. He was already unbuttoning his jacket in hopes that he can get it on to her.

“Make me.” Her playful tone makes him stop dead in his tracks. She had said that same words to him countless times before, when they were children, when they were teenagers, and now as adults. He looked to her and her playful smirk is back full force and she has her hands stretched out before her. It was a trap and he knew it. He let a growl escape his lips. He doesn’t have time for this and if she were coherent enough to understand the seriousness of the situation, she didn’t have time for it, either.

He stepped over her legs before he stood at a good enough angle to hoist her up. His mind is screaming that she’s up to another one of her pranks but her innocent eyes betray her sly smirk and it won him over. He reached out to grab her hands and he rooted his feet into the ground so he can be sturdy enough to lift her up.

When his hand touches her, he frowned. One because she’s ice cold, and two because he should have listened to his instincts. This was, in fact, a trap. She grabbed on to him and used her full strength to pull him forward, efficiently knocking him off balance and causing him to come tumbling down on top of her. His body ungracefully crashed into hers and it was enough force to push her back on to the ground. He used his hands to break his fall, and also so he won’t crush her under his full weight. His hands burn at the coldness from the ground and his knees are already wet from the snow melting underneath them.

He let out a curse and was ready to give her a piece of his mind, but her joyous laughter stops him abruptly. He hasn’t heard her laugh in such a long time, and it made his heart sing in a way he never thought it would. He opened his eyes and was greeted with a sight that he knew will haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. 

She looked the happiest she’s been in a while. Her silver hair is sprawled out underneath her, fanning out like a halo. The snow cascades down around them and some catch on her face before they quickly melt at the contact of her skin. Some find purchase on her lashes and on her lips. When she opened her eyes, there was a fire in them that he never thought he’d see again, and it makes his lips twitch up into a smile. 

Being this close to her, he saw things in herthat he didn’t see yesterday or in his entire life. Had she always had freckles just under her eyes? Were her eyes always that blue? 

Was she always this pretty?

Suddenly, he doesn’t think he hates Allura. He doesn’t think he’s ever hated her. Everything is falling into place and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Maybe he doesn’t hate Allura. Maybe he just...highly dislikes her, that’s all. 

_Right?_

His heartbeat coincided perfectly with her laughter and he couldn’t stop his next words from leaving his lips even if he tried.

_“Oh fuck.”_


	2. .a plethora of bad decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stupid decisions led him here...and he's okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm a goddamn idiot. I honestly thought I had uploaded this way back in December, but I only saved it as a draft like a stupid bitch.

Lotor wasn’t a stupid man. Sure, he’s made stupid decisions in his past that’s led him down several roads that he never should have turned on, but he always somehow found his way back. No, Lotor was not stupid, but there were times when he wished he was smarter.

Such as now.

He recognized that look in her eyes the second she looked up at him with her hand stretched out. How could he not? Those eyes have haunted him since his childhood. But still. He gave her the benefit of the doubt and reached out to her anyway. He didn’t miss the jolt of electricity that raced up his spine when their hands touched, and he certainly didn’t miss the way she beamed up at him as if he were the fucking sun in a world made just for her. 

Now here he was. Lying on top of her, completely consumed by a world that was all their own. He was on solid ground with her under him but somehow...somehow he’s falling. He’s falling into her smile, her laugh, her eyes. He’s falling hard, and he knows that when he finally hits the ground, it’s gonna be a bitch to get back up again.

Time was an illusion that liked to play tricks on the mind. Lotor knew this. What he doesn’t know was exactly how long he was kneeled over her, staring at her in the freezing cold in the dead of winter with a dangerous blizzard rapidly approaching from the south. But what he did know that it was long enough to make himself look and feel like a complete idiot. His world was completely turned on its head at the sound of her playful, melodic laughter as it resonated through his body and echoed through the crisp, night air. He was under the spell of her voice and the enchantment of her eyes, and he didn’t quite know how to break it.

But then again, he wasn’t really sure that he even wanted to.

This was bad. 

Holy fuck, this was bad. 

Stupid decisions led him down this road, and he didn't have the willpower to turn back.

It wasn’t until a harsh, cold gust swept through the field and chilled him to the core that he realized exactly what was happening. The wind hissed through the snowy field relentlessly and brought more snow with it, covering them in a thin blanket of ice. Under him, Allura’s body shivered against his. Without thinking, he used his body to shield hers until the wind let up. Her hands held onto his coat, her grip anchoring him down against her as if she were afraid he’d be blown away.

When there was finally a break in the wind, he scrambled off of her before he took a risk to reach out to help her stand. He hauled her up to stand in front of him. His hands didn’t release hers until he was certain she had her footing on the icy ground. She shivered mercilessly in the cold, and the fact that her backside was completely covered in snow didn’t help in the slightest. 

“Are you done rolling around in the snow?” He was irritated and it showed in his sarcastic question. He circled around her and wiped the snow from her body more aggressively than he needed to. 

Allura made a thoughtful sound, letting him do as he pleased. “Depends.” She rose her arms to make it easier for him. “Is my snow angel perfect?” Both looked down at her so-called angel and it was...far from perfect. She frowned at the misshaped blob in the snow. “Oh...It looks like an angel fell from heaven but hit a plane on the way down.”

Lotor finished dusting her off before he gave his input. “Or a murder scene,” Lotor grumbled as he stuffed his cold hands into his pocket.

“It is subjective, I suppose,” she said thoughtfully. “However, I’m sure it was perfect before you decided to ruin it.”

Before Lotor could retaliate, another harsh gust of wind whirled by that was more aggressive than the last. Snow fell in a frenzy from the sky in large flakes causing Lotor’s feet became heavier the longer he stood still. He drew in his shoulders to conserve warmth. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being out in the cold. Where do you stay?” He’s unsure why he asked her that. Why did he even care? It wasn’t like he was going to walk her home like he always did when they were younger.

“In the Cullen Peak apartments,” she answered him loudly over the whirling wind.

Lotor cursed lowly to himself. That was far from here. Way further than his own place. The words left his mouth before his brain could stop him. “Do you want me to walk you?” Maybe he did want to walk her back home like he always did when they were younger. Even if it was in the middle of a storm, deep down, he just wanted to walk her home one last time. 

Allura shook her head at his offer. “No, I think I can handle it.” She folded her arms over her abdomen to hold on to what little warmth she had left before she turned to take her leave. “I’ll see you around, Lotor. Probably sooner than later since you love stalking me so much.” She tossed him an over exaggerated, cartoonish wink. The same stupid ass wink she gave him just before she won the election for class president with over 85% of the vote.

Lotor’s eye twitched at the triggered memory and shot her an annoyed glare. “I am not stalking you,” he said. "You just happened to be in the exact same places I always go to. If anything, it’s _you_ who’s stalking me, Altea.” He turned towards the direction of his apartment but not before he grumbled a half-assed farewell to her.

The snow covered his feet, making each step was harder than the last. He was relieved that he could finally venture home after being out in the cold for so long. If it wasn’t for her, he would have beaten the storm, and he would have been in his warm apartment already. Another gust rushed past him, causing a sign on the far side of the field to fall over a couple of feet before it was pinned harshly against a building.

Against his will, worry suddenly filled his chest. Allura’s safety was at the forefront of his mind. No matter how hard he tried to push it away, he couldn’t deter from it. His sharp eyes didn’t miss how badly she was shivering or how her lips had lost almost all of their color. This was only the beginning of the storm and without a doubt, it was only going to get worse as the seconds ticked by. It was getting dark, and it would be incredibly easy to get disoriented in the snow if you didn’t pay attention to where you were going. Allura never paid attention to anything unless it was to piss him off.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

As children, he always hated her but at the same time, he was always protective of her. In elementary, he always stood up against bullies for her, and he never let her do anything stupid. At least, not without him. Oddly enough, he still felt the same way even after all these years. He couldn’t let her walk home alone. Especially not in this weather. She might not make it and she definitely wasn’t dressed properly.

He let out a frustrated growl before he turned on his heels to chase her down. He yelled out her name but the unforgiving wind was too loud and it completely drowned out his voice, suffocating it under heavy flurries. He picked up the pace before the more rational, more egotistical side of him made an appearance and caused him to change his mind altogether.

When he finally caught up to her, he reached out a hand to grab hers and she yelped in surprise at the sudden contact. “Lotor! What’s wrong?” she questioned hastily. “I promise I’m going straight home if that’s what worries you.” She paused and suddenly a sly grin split her face. “Or are you already stalking me again?” she teased. Even in dangerous conditions, she still found a way to be the bane of his existence.

He rolled his eyes. “You wish, Altea,” he said, tightening his hold on her hand. His hands were cold, but her’s were freezing. “Listen, your place is too far to walk home in this weather and it’s only going to get worse within the hour. You can just…” He paused to take a deep breath and he couldn't believe what he was going to say next. “You can just stay at my place for the night since it’s closer.” His voice dropped off into a mumble that was barely comprehensible over the wind.

She searched his eyes for a moment, probably trying to decipher what he just asked or maybe trying to see if he was joking or not. Through her eyes, he could pinpoint the exact moment she processed his offer. She gave his hand a tentative squeeze. “Y’know, I don’t care that people call you a stuck up prude, you’re a pretty swell guy, Lotor.” She knew he hated the word ‘swell’. She fucking knew it.

He narrowed his eyes. “Funny, considering I’ve only heard you ever talk shit about me,” he said as he quickly shrugged off his outer jacket and stood behind her and waited for her to slip her arms through the fleece sleeves. She gave him a surprised look at his offer. “You’re about 6 minutes away from hypothermia. Put it on, Brat.” He hasn’t called her that in almost 5 years and his heart skipped a beat when the foreign word became all too familiar with him all too suddenly.

“W-What about you?” she asked out of concern but slipped the jacket on anyway and couldn’t help the content sigh that escaped her lips at the newfound warmth.

He firmly turned her around so he could hastily zip her up. “I can manage.” He could get through this 10-minute walk without one of his three layers of clothing. He just wasn’t so sure if she could.

On her, the jacket was easily two sizes too big and it came over her hands, completely drowning them in the heavy fabric. For once, Lotor was thankful for the cold weather so it hid his blush from seeing her wearing his clothes. Without another word, he walked towards his apartment and she shuffled silently behind him.

Ever since he saw her yesterday, the walk to his apartment always seemed much longer than usual. The wind was harsh as they marched forward, opposing its brutal force. Along with it, the snow took no prisoners. It felt like tiny razors rushed passed his face and the sheer amount of it veiled their world in white and made it hard to see out in front of them.

Absentmindedly, as if he’d done it a thousand times before, his hand reached out behind him so he could grab ahold of hers. He told himself that it was for her own protection and that he only reached out to for her so he could guide her through chaotic forces but he knew deep down that wasn’t the case. He just wanted to feel her hand in his again. Even if they were colder than they should have been, he knows that she’s there and that she can’t disappear from his life again without so much as a goodbye.

When they finally made it to his front door, he patted his pockets twice and almost panicked when he didn’t feel his keys. Not even a second later, he heard the metallic jingle of his keys behind him and he brought his focus to Allura who playfully dangled his keys loosely in front of him. He must have kept his keys in his coat before he gave it to her.

Voicing his appreciation, he took the keys away from her and inserted the proper one into the door. The sound of the lock sliding out of place and cutting through the wind was music to his ears. Quickly, he opened the unlocked door before he took a step back so he could usher her inside. He followed her in, then he closed and locked the door behind them.

Lotor quickly took his shoes off before he rushed to turn on the heater. He grumbled under his breath at how long it would take to warm the small room. He turned to the doorway to see that Allura hadn’t moved from his welcome mat. Her blue eyes scanned over his apartment with an expression he couldn’t quite decipher. He’s known her his entire life and yet, ironically, he still couldn’t read her to save his life. He wanted to think that she was admiring his apartment, but he knew better. She was probably judging his bland, minimalistic decor with a critical eye.

“What?” he asked dryly with his hands still hovering over the heating unit seeking out any remnants of heat.

Her eyes still raked over every surface and took in every detail. “Oh, its nothing but this decor is just…” She paused to think of the right word to describe it.

“Terrible?” he finished for her sarcastically.

She shook her head. “No,” she said with a gentle smile and for a second, he thought she was going to surprise him with words of kindness. He knew his apartment wasn’t that bad, it was just an acquired taste that took some time to get used to.

“It’s hideous.”

_Well shit._

She back-tracked a little to save his pride. “I mean, don't get me wrong because it has great potential, but does everything need to be so..." she squinted her eyes and upturned her lips. "beige? You’re better than this, Lotor.”

“I’m really not,” he countered quickly. When his hands had feeling again, he approached her and removed his jacket from her before he left to shake off the excess snow in the bathroom.

“But you can try,” came her distant reply.

“Do I look like Martha Stewart to you?”

“No, but you can at least try to be Rachael Ray.” She took off her shoes and left them neatly by the door.

Lotor peaked his head from the bathroom door. “Rachael Ray is a celebrity cook…”  
“Yeah, but I’m sure she has enough residual talent to properly decorate her home. I mean, could a couple of pictures hurt? Maybe even a candle? Some throw pillows? Something? Literally anything.” She really wasn’t letting this go, was she?

He came back and stuffed the jacket in the dryer along with the one he was wearing. “Look, if it bothers you that much to the point where you wanna play homemaker, then why don’t you do something about it?” As soon as he said the words, he immediately regretted them. He knew better than to challenge her because knowing Allura…

“I will.”

_Fuck._

He held back a groan. He was making a lot of stupid decisions lately, and it was all because of her. He just couldn’t seem to control his tongue around her. She always seemed to make him lose his cool and say things without caution.

He turned to her to take back his comment but he bit his tongue when he realized that she was still standing where he left her. Her arms were wrapped around herself and she was shivering more than she was when they were outside. From the newfound heat, the snow was melting from her clothes and water dripped onto his hardwood floors with an unsteady drip. He needed to get her warm and he needed to do it as soon as possible.  
Returning to the bathroom, he started a warm shower before he called out to her. He didn’t wait for her to answer before he came back to her and dragged her towards the bathroom.

“Still bossy, I see?” Allura laughed behind him.

“Still annoying, I see?” he countered mocking her tone while he turned the corner into the bathroom. The hot steam greeted him and he honestly wished it was him who was taking a warm shower, but Allura needed it more at the moment.

She shrugged. “That’s fair.” Her mouth turned into a grimace when she looked around. Even his bathroom was a hideous shade of beige. HGTV would have a field day in here.  
Lotor released her to check the temperature of the water to make sure it wasn’t scalding to the touch. Once he adjusted it slightly, he turned back to look at her. “Adjust it to your liking, and take as long as you need, but don’t use up all of my hot water.”

She shrugged off her thin sweater. “I’ll try to be a mindful house guest,” she teased while dropping the article of clothing on to the floor.

Lotor rolled his eyes before he bent down to pick up the haphazardly discarded sweater, and he grimaced at how cold and damp it was against his skin. “Give me your clothes so I can run them through the dryer.”

Allura nodded at his instructions and began to remove her earrings, followed by her bracelets before she placed them on the sink. Lotor recognized the earrings as the same ones she wore all through high school. They were a gift from Alfor for her sixteenth birthday. He supposed she would never be able to part with them. He watched her as she removed most of her outer layers of clothing. When her eyes met his, neither moved before a moment turned into two, and two moments turned into ashes lost to time. Her eyes were always the most expressive he’s ever seen and they were easily the most alluring part about her. It was just as easy as it was dangerous to get lost in them.

The spell was broken as soon as she opened her mouth. “Are you going to leave?” she finally asked him through a laugh.

Lotor cursed to himself before he excused himself to hide his embarrassment. He’s never been like this before. He was usually the cool, calm, and collected one. Now that Allura was here – suddenly back in his life and in his apartment nonetheless – all of that natural talent left him all at once.

It's...strange. Because this should be awkward. But it isn’t. He’s just _making_ it awkward. But he had every right to. She’s the one that never tried to return any of his calls. She’s the one that moved on without him, not even bothering to try to bring him with her. She’s the one that left him without so much as a fucking goodbye. But here she is: joking and smiling like she did when they were younger as if the last three years never happened. His hands tightened around her damp sweater, and he felt his jaw tighten from the repressed memories.

But they did.

He ejects the bitter thoughts from his head and throws her sweater into the dryer harder than he intended to. The bathroom door creaks open and Allura’s head pokes out to find him. Her naked body is hidden by the door and in her hand, her clothes are neatly folded. Without a word, he takes them from her so they can join her sweater and his jacket in the dryer.

She must have seen his scowl because she sent him a blinding smile. “Don’t worry Lotor, I promise I won’t use up your hot water. I’ll be out of the shower in 5 minutes, max.” She held out her pinky finger to solidify a pinky promise.

Lotor watched her pinky for a second before he rejected it altogether. “Take all the time you need, Allura,” he told her stiffly, pushing her pinky away and leaving to his bedroom. He didn’t look back to see the look of disappointment and hurt on her face, but he knew it was there.

He needed to find something for her to wear once she got out. Opening his drawer, he dug through some of his casual clothing that was comfortable and warm enough to sleep in. He settled on an old band t-shirt he outgrew long ago, but never found the time to throw it out and a pair of his sweatpants. He folded them neatly before he set them aside for later and ventured into the kitchen to prepare a late dinner for them.  
He never remembered Allura being too much of a picky eater, so making a decision of what to eat for dinner wasn’t a hard one. He preheated the oven and took out a frozen pepperoni pizza he’d bought in preparation for the storm. It wasn’t his favorite meal, but he could tolerate it and it was large enough to share between the two of them.

True to her word, Allura emerged from the shower just a few minutes later. Once again, her head poked out of the bathroom door and along with it, steam from the hot shower seeped out. The door still hid her body, but a white fluffy towel could be seen held around her torso. She looked hesitant. “...Hey, Lotor?” It wasn’t necessarily a question – more of like an awkward way of starting a conversation that she didn’t know how to finish because she couldn’t find the right words to say them aloud.

Always knowing what she wanted without being told, Lotor immediately gave her the stack of clothes he had set aside for her earlier. She quickly thanked him before she ducked back into the bathroom to change. He set the pizza into the oven and set the timer for 40 minutes.

It wasn’t long before Allura emerged from the bathroom with her hair, still dry, clumped in chaos atop her head, and dressed in his clothes. She was petite compared to his larger frame, so her borrowed clothes drowned her in fabric. She tightened the drawstrings around her waist to keep the pants from falling, but they still hung low on her hips. This was the second time today that he’s seen her in his clothes, and just like before, it stirred something within him that he’d rather stay buried. Unlike before when he hid his blush under the veil of night and snow, now he had nothing to hide his heated face. Quickly, he turned away to check on the pizza, that was, without a doubt, still frozen in the oven.

“What’s in the oven?” Allura asked behind him.

“Pizza.”

“What kind?” She was always so fucking curious. It was annoying when they were children but it was sinfully cute as adults.

When he was sure he had his emotions under his control again, he turned to face her. “Something simple; pineapple, bell peppers, onions, and cilantro,” he casually listed off everything he knew she hated, and almost laughed out at the sour face she made. She wasn’t a picky eater by any means but if any one of those ingredients were involved, she would rather starve.

When she saw the ghost of a smirk on his face, she knew he was just teasing. She let out a sigh of relief as she lightly jabbed his chest as she walked by. “You ass.”

He gave her a boyish grin followed with a shrug. “It’s payback for keeping me out in the snow earlier.”

“You’re just being a baby.”

“A baby who likes to be warm,” he countered childishly.

Once again, he can’t help but think that logically, all of this should be awkward. But it isn’t. Their banter should feel forced but it’s all too familiar in their dynamic. He doesn’t feel the slightest bit of uncomfortable when Allura walked passed him and started to dig through his cabinet in search of something quick to snack on while the pizza baked. It was just like when they were teenagers when she’d come over unannounced, stole his snacks, then made herself comfortable by making him watch her favorite show.

Her eyes lit up when they landed on something that caught her interest. She stood on the tips of her toes and it still wasn’t quite enough to reach what had caught her attention. 

He smirked at her struggle, thinking about all the years she had tortured him because he was shorter than she was through their adolescence. She would constantly remind him that he was vertically challenged with a cheap jab to his ego followed by a flick to his nose. He was a late bloomer, and over the summer that led into their senior year, puberty hit him like a brick wall. Now, three years later, he towered over her, and he never felt more proud of his height.

Before she hurt herself or worse, ruin the organization of his shelves, he decided to step in to help her. It took three steps to close the distance between them, and when he got to the cabinet, he simply reached over her straining hands to grab the Chex mix that she wanted. 

While over her, he couldn’t help but slip in a tease into her ear. “So how does it feel to be the short one, Altea?”

Allura froze at the feeling of his body behind hers, and she quickly snatched the snack from his grasp. Slowly, as if she were stalling to get her emotions under control, she turned around to face him and gave him a sweet, gilded smile that screamed danger. He knows that smile. He’s seen it just hours ago and he knew exactly what it was capable of. He narrowed his eyes and braced his pride because he knew that whatever she’s going to say next is going to ruin him. 

Her eyes met his and a delicate hand rose his chest to rest just over his heart and through the contact, Lotor felt his heart skip a beat and his breath catch in his throat. A moment passed by before either moved and she started to walk her fingers deviously up his chest. “Oh my, have you grown. But...ya know, Lotor,” she began in a low voice as her fingers paused in their journey. “If you wanted me to kick your ass so badly, all you had to do was bend over and ask nicely.” She ended her bold declaration with a snort and a playful flick to his nose before she walked past him while popping a pretzel stick into her mouth.

Lotor’s clenched his jaw. He could never win with her. He knew this, yet he tried anyway. 

Stupid decisions led him here. 

Allura placed the bag on the counter before she turned and tried to hoist herself up onto the edge of the counter. Her lips morphed into a pout when she realized that the counter was too high for her arms to gain an edge and get herself up over the ledge. Lotor rolled his eyes. Why couldn’t she just sit in a chair like a normal person? Before he said something he regretted, he went over to her, placed his hands on her waist and lifted her up onto the countertop. 

She let out a surprised yelp at his sudden, and oblivious, display of strength. He watched her closely, and this time there was no mistaking the blush that crept onto her face. “Thank you,” she said. “But I could have done it myself...eventually.” She continued to pick out only the pretzel pieces from the bag.

He turned to rummage through his fridge to make sure they had enough food for breakfast in the morning, and possibly dinner. If the storm got too bad, they may be snowed in for the next couple of days. He thought about the meals he could prepare if it came to that. He dreaded the idea of being cooped up inside for so long, and the fact that there was a pretty good chance that they were going to be with her didn’t bother him as much as he would have liked. 

Allura continued to pick out the pretzel pieces from the bag. They were easily her favorite part of the variety snack, anything she didn’t like, she would save for Lotor. His taste buds matched his boring decor. A sudden but subtle movement from atop the fridge caught her attention. Her eyes looked up to follow the movement and she was met with a pair of judgmental golden eyes. 

“Is that Kova?” 

Lotor didn’t look up from the fridge to answer. “Hopefully.” It wouldn’t be the first time a random cat snuck into his apartment without him realizing it.

Allura gasped. “He’s gotten so big!” She was surprised to see the cat that was no longer the same tiny kitten she helped Lotor rescue from the streets. The large black cat continued to stare her down and made no effort to approach and investigate the newcomer. She called the cat’s name out and baited him with a pretzel along with some childish kissing noises. Its ears perked up and twitched at the sound of its name, and it tentatively leaned towards the girl who suddenly thought she was the cat whisperer. She patted the space beside her to invite the cat closer, but it stayed perched upon its ledge with a judgemental stare that perfectly matched Lotor’s.

Allura shook the contents in her bag, hoping the rustling sound would bribe the cat into trusting her. “You think he remembers me?” 

Lotor made a thoughtful sound, looking up at the stubborn cat. “Probably not,” he said honestly. Mindful of Kova’s paws, he closed the fridge door before he reached up to stroke the cat’s cheek. “He was only a few months old when you left.” The words came out more passive aggressive than he intended to. 

Allura didn’t miss the bitter edge to Lotor’s voice. How could she not? The words were laced with a strain of poison she couldn’t identify and wrapped in a petty bow with her name on it. She swallowed her response as she watched Lotor reach under Kova to take him down from atop the fridge. 

Lotor lightly dropped off Kova beside Allura, and she stuck her hand out to allow the cat to get familiar with her scent. “Careful now,” Lotor warned, “he’s a lot more of an asshole than he was than when he was a kitten.” The cat watched her with indifference before it leaned tentatively towards her catch her scent. 

Allura smiled when the cat leaned in closer to her hand, savoring her warmth. Just when Allura thought she could get a good pat in, Kova lashed forward with a warning swipe before he jumped off the counter and disappeared somewhere into Lotor’s bedroom. 

Lotor made a sarcastic sound as he watched his cat trot away. “Well then, I guess he does remember you,” The words had the same bitter connotation as they did before. 

“Then I suppose I’ll have to earn back his trust.” The words had a double meaning and they both knew it. 

Lotor felt his jaw clench. “That may be something that’s easier said than done, princess,” he said, leaning back on the opposite counter with his arms folded over his chest. “Kova doesn’t let things go easily.” 

Allura kept her face carefully neutral at the sound of her high school nickname. She’s never heard it sound so acidic. “That may true, however, I have time to try my hand at making things right between us. Do you think he does?” They were no longer talking about the cat. 

Lotor’s eyes locked on to her’s. “We’ll see.” 

There will come a time when they will need to sit down and talk about what happened between them...

“How have you been, Lotor?” Allura suddenly asked.

Lotor grimaced before he turned away. “Watch the pizza. I’m going to take a shower.” 

...Just not right now. 

_________________________

Lotor let the hot water roll over his body until it ran cold. This was usually his favorite part of the day because he was finally alone. It was just him, his hot water, and his thoughts: the holy trinity of self-care. Too bad the hot water tapped out 20 minutes ago, and his thoughts only seemed to focus on her. He doesn’t think he’s ever thought about her more than he did at this exact moment. How could he not? She was in _his_ home, eating _his_ food...

Wearing _his_ clothes. 

Stupid decisions led him here. 

He didn’t exactly know why he left Allura the way he did. He knew his words were like a slap to the face, and part of him rejoiced at the petty form of revenge he was saving just for her. After all, she had been the one to leave him alone. Why couldn’t he return the favor? It was only fair. 

Still. 

It didn’t feel as good as he thought it should have. Guilt and remorse filled his chest. 

Stupid decisions led him here. 

Just when she finally decided that she wanted to talk about the very thing that’s plagued him since she left, he wanted nothing to do with it. Why was he being a dick? He was the one to offer his home to her, yet here he was the one making the situation tenser than it needed to be. 

Lotor cursed to himself and rested his head on the water-soaked tile. Deep down, he was still angry with her. He knew that. Hell, he was sure that she knew it more than he did. It was something that he knew would take a while to get over, but he could at least try. He huffed and blamed his childish stubbornness on her. 

He turned off the cold water and stepped out the shower before he grabbed two towels; one to dry his body and the other to dry his hair. He ruffled the towel through his long, silver locks, hoping to quickly dry the damp strands, then he tightly secured the other around his waist. He turned to look at himself in the foggy mirror. He didn’t know how he was going to survive the night knowing that Allura was here. She had a way of always getting what she wanted and he had a way of always giving it to her. 

He knew that they needed to have a deep conversation, and today, in the middle of a snowstorm seemed like the perfect chance to. He left the bathroom with a sigh. It was no use stalling the inevitable. Down the hallway, he could hear her rummaging through the cabinets, and the scent of the pizza filled his senses. He was a lot hungrier than he remembered. 

He quickly changed in his bedroom then rejoined her in the kitchen. To his surprise, she had plates laid out on his table along with two bottles of water for each of them. He turned towards the pizza and noticed how sloppy the pieces were cut. 

“You didn’t have a pizza cutter,” she said, watching him judge her pizza cutting skills. 

He opened the cabinet just above the fridge and pulled one out. 

She huffed, ripping out four sheets of paper towels. “Why would you put it way up there?” 

“Because that’s where it goes.” He slid pizza onto a large serving plate before making his way over to the table to sit across from her. “You didn’t have to wait for me to eat, ya know.” 

“I wanted to,” she said simply and Lotor only nodded in response. 

They ate their pizza in relative silence, and only the wind was heard whizzing by just outside his window. There were plenty of words that could be exchanged, but both were reluctant. It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t something that Lotor wanted to be repeated ever again. 

He put down his slice of pizza with a sigh after the silence got too much for him. “Look Allura,” he started. “earlier I didn’t mean t–“

“I know, Lotor,” she said, looking down at her food. “We don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She was giving him a way to opt out of the conversation, and he was thankful for it, but then again...

“But we _do_ need to talk about it. Just…” the words got lost on the way out. 

“Not now?” she finished for him. 

He nodded. “Yeah, just not now.” 

“Fair enough.” 

They fall into a casual conversation. It’s an easy, simple conversation, one that talks about their majors and their career goals. It’s no surprise to Allura that Lotor doesn’t want to take over Voltron Tech. He never did have the same passion their fathers did about the company. But what does surprise her is that he wants to pursue international business that he doesn’t plan on applying to Voltron. Instead, he wants to use his degree to travel the world and do the good his father never did. 

“That’s very noble of you, Lotor,” she praised, and it swells Lotor’s chest the same way he imagined if his parents had told him. He kept his face carefully neutral to hide his emotions and to keep her oblivious of what her words did to him.

She took one last bite of her pizza. “Do you want my crusts?” 

Lotor eyed her. What kind of question of that was? Of course, he wanted her crusts. It was the best part of the pizza. She slipped her unfinished pizza onto his plate before she rolled up her long sleeves and went to wash her dish. 

“You don’t need to do that.” 

“I’m a guest, it’s the least I can do.” She dunked the plate into the water and scrubbed it clean. “Also, do you have an extra phone charger?” 

“Did you finally switch over to android?” 

She made a disgusted face. 

He bit into his pizza with a smirk. “Well, I guess your phone is just going to die, then. If only you had an Android, the battery would have lived until tomorrow. Oh well.” Lotor was clearly being sarcastic. He always told her to switch over, but Allura was all about aesthetic and not at all about durability. 

Allura laughed and flicked water on him. “My phone can live until tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, if you keep it on airplane mode.” 

“Yeah, but it lived, bitch.” Along with her stubbornness, came with her love of technicalities. 

“And what a fabulous life to live.” He finished his pizza before he stood next to her and cleaned his own dish. “Hand me that pan.” 

Allura felt her lips curve into a smirk at Lotor’s demand. “Can I get a ‘please’?” She was toying with him but handed him the pan regardless. 

Lotor rolled his eyes. “You’re so annoying.” 

She laughed and bumped his shoulder. “You wouldn’t have me any other way.” 

Lotor snorted but couldn’t stop the grin that pulled at his lips even if he had tried. She was right. Her personality was one of a kind and was unique just to her. They finished the dishes and cleaned the kitchen quickly. When they finished cleaning, Allura plopped down the couch and Lotor refilled Kova’s water bowl. 

It was late, just a little past midnight when Allura let out a yawn before she stretched out on the couch.

“You can take my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch,” Lotor said. 

Allura shook her head as she finished her stretch. “Nonsense. I can sleep on the couch.” 

Lotor frowned. “But it’s lumpy.” 

“I’ve slept on worse,” she said, testing the couch’s firmness. “I just need some blankets and I’ll be good.” 

She was so goddamn stubborn. Lotor went down the hall to get more linens of the closet before he returned with blankets and a pillow. She took the blankets from him with a smile before she spread them out over her and tucked the pillow under her head. She snuggled into the couch and made a face when her back hit a particularly hard spot. 

“Allura, just take the bed.” It was almost a plea. 

She snuggled deeper into the couch and closed her eyes. “Nope, sorry, can’t hear you, I’m already asleep.” 

Lotor huffed before he turned to his room. 

“Turn the light off before you go, please,” Allura called out. “Do you notice how I said ‘please’? That’s because I have manners. You should learn some.” 

He ignored her laugh before he slammed the light switch off. 

____________________________

Lotor doesn’t know how long he laid in bed staring blankly at the ceiling in the darkness. For as long as he could remember, sleep never came easy to him. It always took every trick in the book lure him into sweet unconsciousness. Counting sheep was always the easy way out, so was meditating, but tonight he couldn’t focus on anything. He knew exactly why. 

Behind him, his door squeaked open. He wouldn’t have been alarmed if he didn’t remember that Kova was resting at his feet. He turned to see Allura wrapped up in blankets from head to toe, some even dragged on the floor behind her.

He raised a brow. There was a familiarity in this situation. Even in the dark, he could perfectly read her expression. He knew what was coming and there was nothing he could do to stop it. “What’s wrong?” he asked as if he didn’t already know the answer. 

“Your couch is lumpy,” she confessed as if she wasn’t warned beforehand. Lotor stared at her as she stared down at him expectantly. “Yeah, I know you told me, yeah, but I’m also cold. The couch is really close to the window, and the cold is seeping through.”

Lotor laid his head back on his pillow with a defeated sigh. Without a word, he lifted his blankets to invite her in. She didn’t waste another moment before she slid under the blankets next to him. She sighed in content when she was surrounded in warmth. Her arms brushed against his, and he scooted over to put more distance between them. Lotor hid his blush by turning his back to her and facing the window. Snow fell silently outside and there was a peaceful silence about it. Almost peaceful enough to lull him to sleep.

Just when his eyes felt heavy, Allura’s voice cut through the silence. “Remember when we were kids and we had sleepovers?”

“Hm,” he muttered. “I remember you always hogging the blankets,” he said with a tug on the blankets.

“I remember you always being a baby about it.” She laughed when he suddenly jerked away after she slid her cold hands under his shirt and onto his skin. “I told you I was cold.” 

‘Fuck Allura!” He twitched away from her and turned around to glare at her. His expression softened as soon as he looked at her. Every time she says his name, a piece of him breaks away and belongs to her. Light from outside snuck past his curtains and bathed her face in moonlight, putting an ethereal glow around her. Growing up, he always thought she was pretty, but now, drenched in moonlight and peppered with the shadows of falling snow, he can’t get out of his head how absolutely stunning she is. 

“You’re always so easy to rile up, Lotor,” she half murmured. She was exhausted and it showed in her voice. She tentatively leaned in close to him, and when he didn’t move away, she leaned in closer. “You’re so warm, and you’re being greedy by not sharing it.”

“I give you my apartment, my clothes, my food, and now my bed. And that’s still not enough for you?” It wasn’t. Nothing ever was just enough for Allura. 

“When you put it that way, I sound like _I’m_ the greedy one.”

“What did we learn today?” 

“That you won’t cuddle with me, even when I’m at my lowest point,” she said. 

Lotor stared at her through the darkness. Half of him wished she didn’t utter those words, and the other half of him was pulled into the temptation to be happy she did. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. “Now why would I do such a stupid thing like that?” he said slowly. 

She leaned over him, and strands of her hair fell from her bun and tumbled over her shoulders and tickled his face. It took everything in him not to tuck that strands back. “Because I’m cold.” 

“You’re always cold.”

“Then do something about it.” She laid down into the curve of his body and rested her head on his chest. 

His arm came down to wrap around her. “You’re so annoying,” he said but tugged her in closer. 

She wrapped her arm around him and adjusted herself until she was comfortable. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have me any other way.” It wasn’t long before she was sound asleep, cuddled up against him.

Lotor wasn’t a stupid man. But by far, the stupid thing he’s ever done wasn’t letting Allura spend the night in his home, it was letting her sleep in his bed. Because now...now his sheets smell just like her and he’ll be forced to remember the scent of her every night even long after she’s gone. It took him two long years to get her out of the forefront of his mind. Now she’s back. Now she’s here; in his clothes, in his bed, in his arms sleeping as if it were her rightful place beside him. Just like everything else about her, she’s annoyingly perfect as her body molds effortlessly against his as if she were made for him. Or if he were made for her.

Lotor sucks in a deep, stuttering breath and, like clockwork, her scent reminded him just how much of an idiot he really was. 

Stupid decisions led him here. 

Because now, for the first time in a long time, sleep came easy to him. Yes, this was the stupidest decision Lotor has ever made because now he knows that he’ll never be able to sleep again without her beside him. This was a road he had no business on, but he was too far gone turn back now and if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to turn back.

And that terrified him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotor is...so hard to write because I know he's OOC. I took the route that he since he did grow up with Allura and basically his best friend, he has some social skills, but mixed with his parent's upbringing, its sort of tainted. He's such a complex character that I'm trying to get right, and I personally think I'm failing so damn hard at it.  
> ~
> 
> Next Chapter: The Storm is a lot worse than either of them had previously thought. 
> 
> ~  
> Also, not that it matters, you know I gotta say this because it’s how my people are: I am team iPhone.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments make me happy.


End file.
